so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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