Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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