i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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