So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
