yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
