"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
