I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
