so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
