Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
