you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
