a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
