I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
dude. I can hear the air.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
