those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
