forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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