Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
