and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
