cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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