its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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