He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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