she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
