once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
