I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
