so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
