NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Panties = found
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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