Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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