JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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