I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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