We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I enjoy the company of your penis
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
