There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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