does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
