no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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