We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Randomize
