I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
