You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
