He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
