So many bounce houses so little time
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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