Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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