Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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