She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
