She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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