just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize