I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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