I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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