my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
