Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
