I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
