seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
