Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
