I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
