I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
