They should really pass out barf bags in church
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
