Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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