I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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