Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
