Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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