In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
