Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
