Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think I died a long time ago.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
