k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
