Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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