i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
